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Under Attack by Gremlins: H-E-L-P!

What a bad week looks like.

I interrupt my regularly scheduled haunted places and paranormal tourism blogcasting with a plea for help. If anyone finds my patience and sanity, please contact me immediately! Also, if you know how to defeat Gremlins, please tell me!  

The past two weeks have been crazy and nothing seems to be going right. I have been swamped with rescheduling commitments and scheduling repairs.  

I guess I could always blame it on Mercury Retrograde, as it’s notorious for anything having to do with “re” (like REpairs, REscheduling, REdoing, etc.), but I do believe I’m under attack by Gremlins. Or perhaps ghosts, but the kerfuffles I’ve been dealing with seem more like the work of Gremlins.  

It all started the weekend before last (April 9). Our downstairs seemed warmer than normal. The air was running, but it sure didn’t feel cold. (And we were having nice enough weather to run the A/C.)  

My husband said it felt okay to him, but when I checked the vents in 3 different rooms none of them had cold air coming out. Monday morning I called the repair people who said they were backed up with calls due to our weather and couldn’t get there until the following weekend. (Meaning this past one, April 16.)  

That’s when we got our first bad news.  

“Well, your heat exchanger has a crack in it and your whatchamahoochie isn’t holding coolant anymore.” (I didn’t write down what the whatchamahootchie was called, so that’s how I refer to it. Amazingly, all the A/C people we’ve called understood what I’m talking about anyway.)  

And why have I called others? Because to fix those two things costs $2,000-$4,000, depending on which company you get an estimate from. (We now have talked to four.)  

Since our unit is 12 years old, they all have advised buying a new one, which costs anywhere from $4,700 to $7,600. Again, depending on which company you talk to.  

Making matters worse is tomorrow we have family coming. I had my week scheduled to get all my stuff done in an orderly fashion. The Gremlins have shredded that plan.  

Here’s the attacks they’ve leveled against me:  

  1. Sat 3 p.m. –  Bake brownies. Oven starts acting weird. Makes nutty beeping, flashes weird error message. Turn it off, then back on. Bakes brownies okay, but I have a feeling that means it’s going to need fixed too. (And all I can think is we have Easter dinner Sunday, and where are we going to get money if the repair guy tells us we need a new stove on top of a new A/C?)
  2. Tues 9 a.m. – The Gremlins set off the “low battery” warnings in the two smoke detectors downstairs (the one in the garage and the one in the kitchen). It was making Murph crazy, likely because it was hurting his ears. So after I cleaned the shower and took a shower, I hauled the ladder out of the garage and changed the batteries.
  3. Tues 9:30 a.m. – Go to wash my hands and step in something squishy. Perfect. Cat puke. Clean my foot, go to get a towel to wipe the floor, and slide through a ton of water. “WTF? Why’s the floor all wet?” I look up and notice the ceiling is wet and chunks have flaked off. Great. The shower is apparently leaking again. (We had this problem once before…) Now I have to get that fixed AND deal with scheduling a ceiling repair.
  4. Tues 10 a.m. – Foot and floor is all clean. Suddenly I hear another low battery chirp. This time from upstairs. Go to get the ladder but Tabby (my cat) is stuck on the top and is freaking out about jumping down or me carrying her down. Five minutes later I move a table she’s comfortable jumping on and get her off. Quick run upstairs with the ladder and change the battery. Need to get to tennis so I dash out the door.
  5. Tues 2 p.m. – No sooner had I unlocked the door and stepped inside upon returning from my tennis game then I was greeted with another “low battery” chirp. Upstairs again. Are you freaking kidding me? So I change the other upstairs hallway battery.
  6. Tues 8:30 p.m. – The chirp returns. “Okay, this is nuts. Where is it coming from? I’ve changed all of them haven’t I?” Nope. After discovering each bedroom has one, and starting to change the one in ours but hearing the beep, then thinking it’s in the room next door and going to change that one but hearing the beep again (mind you, I’m up on the ladder both times fiddling with getting the battery out when it beeps again), I finally figure out which room it’s coming from. But now I’m out of 9 volt batteries. I take all the batteries out I hadn’t changed so far. No more chirping.
  7. Tues 9 p.m. – Wayne calls and says his flight’s been delayed.
  8. Tues 11 p.m. – Wayne calls and says they’re trying to get out. Flight’s still delayed.
  9. Wed 1 a.m. – Wayne calls and says they were loaded on the plane when they were told the flight has no pilot. Flight cancelled. He won’t get home until the Wed evening. Great. There goes any help I could’ve gotten dealing with stuff from him today.
  10. Wed 1 p.m. – Wash a load of clothes. Go to put them in the dryer. See puddle of water on the floor. Start laughing and crying at the same time. “I give up. You win. We don’t have the money or time to fix every single thing in the house right now. Please stop! I can’t add any more To Dos to my list and still get all I need to get done for company tomorrow!”

The Gremlins are clearly winning. If this is my last transmission you’ll know they’ve taken me out completely… 

Courtney Mroch
Courtney Mroch, otherwise known as HJ's Ambassador of Dark and Paranormal Tourism, is an author, traveler, and ghost enthusiast. When she's not writing, jaunting, or planning her next trip, it's a safe bet you'll find her in one of three places: on a tennis court somewhere, on a yoga mat somewhere, or watching a horror movie somewhere. She currently resides in Nashville, Tennessee.

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14 thoughts on “Under Attack by Gremlins: H-E-L-P!

  1. I know how you feel courtney been there myself and that sucks about your AC. I just started learning to laugh about it and work through it all. I hope it gets better for you soon and things get back to normal. You may want to search for that cats secret hideout though on your property. It looks like a crafty critter ready to cause trouble at the drop of a hat.

  2. Yes when the house gremlins strike it’s all out war. And you dared get on a ladder? heh-heh, brave girl. We have a bunch of rotten wood to fix and windows with cracks. Several, to repair. And that is all. Really. Stay away. Please. ha!

  3. I hear gremlins hate bright lights. You need to flood your house with bright light and I’m sure they’ll go. Just don’t let them get wet.

  4. Don’t feed them after midnight or get them wet….. all hell will break lose. I am so glad that you won my little o’ giveaway. You certainly needed it. Throw some of that hotsauce on those pesky gremlins and maybe they will finally leave you alone. You should get your package tomorrow (Friday).

  5. Haha! There’s only ONE cure for this deadly plague – escape with me to OZ by visiting my blog!!!

    Seriously – it’s now a few days later, and no new post from you … have they got you???!!!

  6. HI Red! THANKS for even caring if I’m ever heard from again. They didn’t get the best of me. Had to take a break while company was in town is all.

  7. I’m glad I could make you chuckle! I was aiming to try and find the humor so I could force myself to laugh through the tears!

  8. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Hey, maybe that’s why they haven’t bugged me. Your package came. The hot sauce threat put fear in them!

  9. OMG! What was I thinking? It didn’t even dawn on me I was taking my life into my own hands when I climbed that ladder. EEEEKKKKKKK!

  10. John, you SO have my cat’s number! You read him like a book. He IS a crafty critter! Good call!

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