‘Trainwreck: Storm Area 51’: Winners, losers, and a drinking game?

As far as documentaries go, Trainwreck: Storm Area 51 had just about everything. Greed. Fame-seekers. Idiots. Local yokels. Heck, even death threats. All because a teenager’s joke turned into a viral meme that pitted neighbor against neighbor, threatened national security, and could’ve sparked the biggest mass murder in U.S. history.

The Trainwreck documentary series on Netflix reminds me a bit of Unsolved Mysteries. Except, of course, there’s nothing “unsolved” about most of the Trainwreck cases. Insufficiently resolved, maybe.

Like Trainwreck: The Cult of American Apparel. Dov Charney isn’t doing as well as he once was, but per Cosmopolitan, he’s still working in the fashion industry. That’s disappointing. And don’t even get me started on what Carl Marino did to the P.I. Moms that ultimately landed him the role of young Lt. Joe Kenda in Homicide Hunter.

But I digress…

Also like Unsolved Mysteries, Trainwreck: Storm Area 51 ventured into “paranormal” territory. Or, rather, paranormal-adjacent.

It wasn’t as haunting as some of the Unsolved Mysteries episodes. There were no ghosts, psychics, Mothman, or paranormal rangers. But there was everything from alien enthusiasts and ufologists to wannabe alien rescuers and those who believed they were aliens.

There were also winners, losers, and a ton of potential for a drinking game. Let’s explore all that.

Winners and Losers, Part 1

There were a lot of people who hoped to get something out of the Storm Area 51 event. Some were supposedly there for the “truth” about whether or not the government was concealing aliens in Area 51. Others wanted to “free the aliens.” (If aliens really needed freeing and that’s who’s stepping up, they’re screwed.)

However, most seemed driven by something else.

The media showed up for the spectacle. To be blunt, they were salivating for a scandalous shitshow to unfold. As Vice producer Zeke Spector admitted, he was part of the “blood-hungry media” thirsting for a Fyre Fest 2.0.

Most everyone else who showed up on September 20 to Storm Area 51 were YouTubers. They wanted the eyeballs and fame. Even Travel Channel wanted in on the act. They had greenlit an “instamentary” that was to document the UFO Brothers’ Storm Area 51/Alienstock adventure.

Both the media and influencers fall into the losers category. As Spector also admitted, the joke, ultimately, was on them.

Although some may argue that the influencers featured in the Trainwreck documentary got a second shot at 15 minutes of fame. If that’s their measure of success, then I guess they’re winners.

Winners and Losers, Part 2

Luckily, some might even say miraculously, no one lost their lives due to this prank. It was just pride and money on the line.

However, if there had been a murder, I wouldn’t have been surprised if Connie West had been involved in some way. For one, she was receiving threats. But at first, she wanted to kill Storm Area 51 creator Matty Roberts for causing so much chaos in her life. Until she realized there was money to be made.

When she piggybacked the Storm Area 51 event and dubbed it “Raid Rachel,” she pissed off her neighbors, particularly Joerg Arnu. His reaction was, “Really? You’re going to raid our properties?”

Arnu was dead set against any such event. He definitely expressed an “over his dead body” mentality.

Not that Arnu made them, but West started receiving death threats once she made it clear she was determined to host the event in Rachel.

Then, when the first promoter, Disco Donnie, pulled out, West found herself up against a new nemesis: Frank DiMaggio. Back then, I thought the rebranded “Alienstock” event in Rachel had been cancelled altogether, and only DiMaggio’s Area 51 Celebration in Las Vegas was left standing. Nope. They both ended up happening.

DiMaggio and West gave major Joe Exotic vs Carole Baskin vibes. Much like the Tiger King‘s feud with Baskin, DiMaggio and West went to court, too. She sued DiMaggio and was awarded almost $3.5 million in damages. Which it sounds like she’ll never collect if DiMaggio has his way.

West was the biggest winner monetarily. The biggest loser? The U.S. military. They “won” that distinction by a lot. Specifically, $11 million.

Winners and Losers, Part 3

However, if murder had occurred, the U.S. military would’ve won that category. They were prepared to shoot to kill any trespassers. Or, as Chris Tomaino from the Southern Nevada Counter Terrorism Center put it, “We asked the Air Force, ‘Are you really going to use your weapons on a crowd of nerds?'”

Think of the carnage that would’ve resulted if the “stormers” had come en masse and had tried to breach the gates like the mob that attacked the United States Capitol on January 6.

‘Trainwreck: Storm Area 51’ Drinking Game

As I watched the two-part docuseries, I kept hearing several words and phrases over and over. I found myself thinking, “They missed an opportunity to turn this into a drinking game watch experience.”

Which was a nutty thought because I don’t even drink. But if you do, or if you want to make a contest of seeing who can count the most times certain words are said, here are the words to listen for.

However, if you are drinking, determine how drunk you want to get and pick from the choices below. Don’t drink every time you hear all of these words and phrases. You’ll for sure die of alcohol poisoning!

For a Nice Buzz

Drink every time you hear, “They can’t stop us all” or “Clap them cheeks.”

To Get Drunk

Drink every time you hear “Naruto” or “meme.”

My personal favorite line using “Naruto” came from Colonel Cavan Craddock:

“There are a lot of foreign intel operatives out there that are gonna infiltrate the crowd of these Naruto runner alien seekers. They’re gonna look like ’em, they’re gonna smell like ’em, they’re gonna talk like ’em, they’re gonna act like ’em. Therefore, we will treat all of them as hostile until proven otherwise.”

To Get Completely Sh!tfaced

Drink every time someone either drops an F bomb, says “WTF?”, or you think it yourself.

There were plenty of revelations that had me thinking, “WTF?!” Like when they said that searches for “Area 51” on Pornhub went from 0 to thousands when the Storm Area 51 meme went viral.

But by far the biggest WTF jaw-drop came when they shared how much the joke turned viral meme cost the government. $11 million. Wow.

Check-In

What’s your favorite Trainwreck?