To any who check this blog more regularly than just landing here via searches, apologies for being so quiet lately. This year has gotten off to a rocky start. I have been sick a lot to start out 2013. Then I got some health news that sort of sent me into a tizzy.
I am fine, the cancer has not returned, but I do have a new, chronic condition I am learning to accept and will have to learn to live with. The news hit me perhaps harder than when I learned I had cancer back in 2008. Back then I knew something was wrong with me. I was telling my doctor for four months before I was finally diagnosed that I had cancer.
This time my yearly physical revealed my new disease. I didn’t have any symptoms and protested the results. I am only now beginning to believe them.
The good thing is it’s something I can manage. However, this whole experience brought back some old trauma from the cancer days. Back then I wasn’t sure if I would live or die. I made a list of things to do to keep living. Haunt Jaunts was one of them.
Ironically, here I am almost exactly four years later deciding I need to put HJ on hold indefinitely. It likely doesn’t show, but I put a lot of time into researching, social media, post writing, site maintenance, etc. with Haunt Jaunts. It’s been a life saver in many respects, but it’s also taken time away from my other passion: book writing.
This newest experience has finally made me realize that I am only capable of one thing at a time. I can’t blog, write, play tennis & volleyball, and take care of my home and family all at the same time.
Tennis season is back in full swing. Sand volleyball season will start up again here shortly right after indoor season ends. Keeping up the amount of exercise I do, and perhaps even sneaking in some more, will be crucial to helping me manage my newest diagnosed disease. Can’t give that up.
Not caring for my home and family is not an option. (Even though they’ll tell you it appears optional during tennis season when dishes and laundry start piling up and the cupboards stay fairly bare.)
For a long time now Haunt Jaunts has been an excuse not to do my other writing. I wanted to grow my blog, increase my monthly hits, see how many more likes I could get on Facebook and followers on Twitter. It was a way to avoid the pain of rejection. Pre-cancer, rejection letters never bothered me. It was all a part of writing life. Post-cancer?
Well, there was a lot of mental trauma that went into me developing cancer to begin with. I couldn’t take that kind of stress.
So, HJ has helped me heal on that front. I’ve known a lot of love and acceptance thanks to this blog. I’ve been able to start submitting stories again (just short ones, taking baby steps), and the rejections don’t bother me again. It’s why giving it up for a time is hard. I truly love, Love, LOVE doing what I do with HJ. I love the people I know because of it.
However, I have a dream. I’ve had this dream since I was a bitty girl getting stories read to her. It’s time to honor another part of myself before I get another diagnosis that doesn’t give me another shot at Life. (If I were part cat, I’ve already spent 4 of my 9 lives. Not willing to taker the chance my luck at other chances keeps holding.)
Since I hope to return when I’ve accomplished what I I’m aiming for, I will only say so long for now and not goodbye or farewell. I’ll look forward to the day our paths cross again.