My friend Gene shared a haunted house experience that terrifies me just thinking about it: Blackout. I had never heard of it before Gene clued me in. (Not surprising, given that I’m a haunted house weenie.)
He sent me a link to an article about someone who went through it. He noted, “And, yes, I AM doing this. Alone!”
That’s the part that immediately terrified me before even reading about the Blackout haunted house. The alone part. I can’t even go through one with someone. Alone? I’d surely be taken out on a stretcher and ushered away most likely to the nearest morgue.
The article was I Paid Strangers $50 To Tie Me Up And Scare The Shit Out Of Me. O…M…G. That’s all I could say after reading it. The whole time as I’m reading it I’m thinking, “No way. Such a place can not really exist. This is some super sick and twisted shit.”
This is probably the most intense haunted house experience I’ve ever heard of. The people behind it must be geniuses…and a little disturbed. Okay, a lot. The rooms these minds have concocted sound horrific on a number of levels.
And the actors? Whoa. Brave souls and/or crazy people. Some are naked. Some are surely masochists in real life.
Here’s a snippet from the article so you get an idea of why I’m saying all this:
I swear to God, Rob Zombie was standing before me five inches from my face. Two seconds after the bag was removed, Rob Zombie was rubbing a cold metal thing against my face. He leaned back pulling the metal contraption back away, revealing it to be a staple gun. The second I realized it was a staple gun, it was back on my face, and Rob Zombie was fucking stapling my face. THREE TIMES. There weren’t any staples in it, but it still hurt. Okay, it didn’t really hurt — but it hurt all the same. Rob Zombie was not amused and started screaming, and the guy behind me (who I totally forgot was there in the presence of the face stapling) threw me into a hallway of TVs.
Each TV was on, and showing video footage of me walking down the hallway. On the floor of said hallway: condoms, just crap loads of condoms. They were wet. I followed the TVs into the biggest mind fuck room of all. I pulled back a curtain and someone screamed “STAND ON THE X!”
I spied the ‘X’ and stood there. Behind the curtain was a room covered in condoms and shoes. There’s a dirty mattress on the floor, and a dead naked woman lay on her back. In the corner a skinny man stood with his back to me. He turned around, and revealed that he was really not wearing any clothes at all. None. Full dong. Out. It’s something. He started walking right towards me. My brain started rattling, I could actually hear my own insides rattling around inside my skull at the sheer confusion of the condom parade naked basement man. He started walking towards me, and horror set in as I realized: He has my shoe.
The Naked Man got closer and pointed to the bed. “Nope!” I said, turning around.
Naked Man said, “get on the bed.” I sat on it. He grabbed my feet and pulled them up, so I’m now laying on the bed. He sat at the foot of the bed, holding my shoe while staring down at me. It was dead silent. Then the Dead Naked Girl woke up, and flipped over on top of me. She started screaming, “HELP ME HELP ME HELP ME HELP ME HELP ME!”
As you might imagine, since this is a haunted house where you’re touched, bags are placed over your head, your shoes are taken off, and naked people may flop on you or lick you, you must be at least 18 years old to go through and there are a host of waivers to sign beforehand.
Even though I could never do it, I’m intrigued by it. (The perv in me is fascinated that there are naked people in it. A true adult only haunted house, which blows my mind.)
My friend Gene is psyched to do it. Kudos to him. He’s a braver soul than I’ll ever be. However, I am looking forward to hearing about his adventure.
What about you? Would you be willing to take on the Blackout haunted house? (If you’re brave enough, Blackout started in New York, which is where it still is, but has now expanded to Los Angeles. One for each coast. So far…)
Blackout website: http://www.blackouthh.com/
BLACKOUT PROMO TRAILER